I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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