i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
How's work?
Spinning.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
