What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
