I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
