evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize