Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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