I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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