Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
