it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
