Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
