Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
