i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Randomize
