he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize