Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
