So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
