Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Everclear isn't food dammit
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
