oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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