you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
When did angry sex become our thing?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
