Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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