No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
