i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
