last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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