Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
