His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
time to smoke my breakfast
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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