Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
