the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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