The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
