fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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