i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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