Sry I called you an 8
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
