well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
