He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
