Yo dont text me then not text me
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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