last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Your penis caused this!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
