i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Watching her eat just hurts me
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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