Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm bleeding and have questions
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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