If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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