lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
