period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
