Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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