check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Never joke about your clitoris.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
