I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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