I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
