Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
