Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
