I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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