Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Your dad touched me again.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize