Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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