Kiss
Puke
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
