I've blown a few things in my day
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
