If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
