Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
