real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
