ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
