How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize