Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
