Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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