I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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