Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I think I sprained my soul last night
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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