Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
