Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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