in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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