for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
