Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
