Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize