you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
