the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
