Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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